This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize