i just google imaged poop.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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