That's intense
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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