fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
