I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
