My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
