So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
