Got a toothbrush?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
