His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
