dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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