I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
