You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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