ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
