M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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