Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
