If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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