Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
