Have you finally orgasmed yet?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize