I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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