I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
