somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
