sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
