i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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