For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
