Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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