Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
