Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
