lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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