is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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