hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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