The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
