i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
