im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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