Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
