Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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