Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
