I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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