Don't you send me to vm
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize