I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize