she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
