Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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