epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
