if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
