you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
