My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
