I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We have started to decorate penises.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
