Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
