she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
