Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
