Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
