fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
wow bdsm is so cute
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
