good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
