Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
