My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
