today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
