I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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