Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
