Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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