Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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