i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
