I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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