I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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