tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
