The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
