she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
