Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
