naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
