Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Your penis caused this!
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